Sex and parenting

July 11, 2017

June 18 was Father's Day and my social media timeline was filled with persons sending out tributes to their fathers and father figures.

It's always so heartwarming to see some of the designs and stories that accompany these sentiments.

For the most part, when adults become parents, their lives are drastically changed overall, but I think their sex lives get the biggest blow of all.

This realisation is ironic since it's the sex that brought the children in the family in the first place.

In a poll conducted by Parenting magazine, they interviewed 1,000 couples.

While 45 per cent of respondents said they have sex with their partner once or twice a week, 30 per cent only get it on once or twice a month.

Ten per cent do the deed less than once a month, while 15 per cent said, "Sex? What's that?" Basically, after becoming parents, a couple's focus is completely on the child and, therefore, sex is put on the back burner - in some cases completely off the stove.

But how important is it for the couple to maintain their intimacy after the become parents? And how practical is it since their focus is now on the child?

 

FOCUS ON PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP

 

As a unit, it's important that the couple maintain the primary relationship in order to be better parents and partners overall. For too many couples, once the child is born, their sex life dies.

This presents a strain on the adult relationship, especially since both parents have their own struggles dealing with the new addition to the family and the responsibilities that comes with that.

For the couples who want to rekindle their sex lives after the birth of their child, here are a few recommendations.

Exercise It's a great way to boost self-confidence and help to rekindle the libido. Exercising together is a great exercise that both partners can enjoy together it's also a great method of foreplay.

Talk about it - Expressing how you feel to each other is a necessary first step to rebuilding intimacy.

Make time for each other, just the two of you - With the focus now on the new baby, it's easy to forget about each other as a couple. Make use of the godparents, grandparents and other surrogates.

See a professional - Sometimes the issues are deeper than something that you can solve together as a couple. Enlist the help of a professional, like a counsellor, sexologist or a therapist to help you sort through some of your issues and treat any illness.

At the end of the day, the happier you are as a couple, the better you are as parents.

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