Relationships take work
As human beings, we have an innate need to bond with each other and to secure relationships. From raising children to the need for companionship, relationships fulfil a very important need in us.
When it comes to intimate relationships, based on what we are taught or even what we see in the movies, we are not prepared to deal with the nitty -ritty, ugly, hard parts. When we watch movies, we see the blissful moments when two people meet each other and inevitably fall in love. We see the smiles, and the romance, and even the carefree moments that the couple spends just enjoying each other. Then, in the movie, they face a small obstacle that is quickly resolved so that they can get to the scene with the amazing kiss – complete with the soundtrack – and the movie ends before we get to see what happens after they commit.
Well the truth is, after that kiss, the real work starts in the relationship. There are some uncomfortable experiences that people go through once they become a couple and these can test their commitment to each other.
Learning to communicate
Communication is perhaps the most important skill that is needed for the success of a relationship. This is also one of the biggest sources of conflict. The simple fact is that people have their own challenges expressing themselves, so they are not always understood. Further, listening is also hard because it requires the ability to pay attention to what someone is saying without distractions. Effective communication requires both these skills. Couples must take the time to improve the way they communicate in order to have a great relationship.
There is an old adage that says “relationships are made by compromises”. While it’s understandable that compromises are required in relationship, it’s more a tool than a rule. Compromises must happen, but not at the expense of the overall happiness of the relationship. Furthermore, there are some situations where compromise just will not work. For example: having children. If the couple cannot agree about having children, one person will not get their needs met.
Sex is perhaps the most passionate part of a relationship. If it’s good, the couple is happy and they find a way to work on the other challenges in the union. However, if they are not having a satisfactory sex life, it seems like every other problem is amplified and they are less motivated to work things out. Sex is a physical express of how a couple feels about each other, so keeping it active must be a cohesive effort.
The bottom line is that human beings are not perfect and it takes effort to maintain happy committed relationships. There is no such thing as an automatic button and sometimes couples must do uncomfortable things in order to stay together. A great relationship can improve the overall quality of life and even the physical health of the couple. So turn off that movie and start living in real-life relationships.