Woman afraid to leave abusive lover

October 10, 2018

After enduring years of abuse from her partner, Mary Jane* says she is now thinking about taking her own life because she believes she is out of options.

The 40-year-old said that she is at wits' end and suicide is a choice she would gladly welcome.

"The abuse is too much. Him tell me that nobody nah go love me like he does, and me never believe him but now I start to. I am really unhappy, and I don't know what to do," she said.

Jane told THE STAR that her six-year relationship has drained her, as she encounters physical and verbal abuse on a daily basis.

She explained that she used to be fun and outgoing, but all that changed during the relationship.

"When we first met, he was a nice person. But after a while, I could not go out with anyone," she said.

The restrictions of her movement extended to her family members, as her lover prevented her from having a relationship with them.

Jane said that she has even been hospitalised because of her lover's abusive ways.

"Him stab me inna me eye, and me did have to get stitches," she told THE STAR.

However, the mother of two says she doesn't know how to escape his grip.

She said that on multiple occasions she thought she broke free when she went to live in a rural parish, but he found her and brought her back to Kingston.

"Right now, none a my daughters dem nuh talk to me because they are saying I need to leave him. I tried because me all go country cause me think him couldn't find me. But him find me and bring me back," she said, adding that she has no idea what the outcome might be if she tries to leave again.




Jane explained that she is often ridiculed by other family members and friends, but she says it is hard to get rid of the man who often plays with her emotions.

"Mi leave and him come and bawl, and tell mi sorry and seh a my fault why him beat me. Mi just get weak and continue to give him chances," she said.

After hearing Jane's story, gender advocate Nadeen Spence said that people should not be too quick to judge persons who are in abusive relationships because it is a complex matter.

She said that a person who wants to leave an abusive relationship needs the support of family and friends because the journey will not be an easy one.

"When we are on the outside, it is easy to say do this and that, but it is different when you are actually in it. A person who is being abused needs emotionally and mentally strong people to help them cross that hurdle," she said.

* name changed

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