I want to help my mentally ill ex


June 19, 2017

Dear Pastor,

My ex is mentally ill, but I don't know where to take him for help. We broke up in 2015 because of his erratic behaviour, and now he's stalking me and saying that he has changed, but, honestly, he's the same.

When we just met, his parents told me about his past and asked me if I could help him to be a better person. He also told me that his babymother emptied his account and moved out the furniture when he was away, leaving him to sleep on the floor, and he has not seen his son again.

It has affected him a lot. Now, nobody can talk to him without getting him angry. He talks to himself a lot and says nobody loves him.

Whenever I argue with him, he would turn the bottle of white rum to his head and drink it raw - without chaser - then starts to thump the wall and acts as if he is mad.

There is a lot more to this, but I will say no more. I don't need to have another intimate relationship with him, but he listens to me and he's asking me for help. Last week, his parents called me, saying I am the only one who can calm him, so I shouldn't turn my back on him.

I am confused, pastor. Please tell me how I can help this young man because I don't want to let his parents down, because they helped me through school when I needed a helping hand.


Dear K.S.,

Encourage this man's parents to try and take him to see a psychiatrist. Evidently, he needs psychiatric care. It is good that this man will listen to you, but you must be very careful that in offering assistance, he does not get the impression that you are doing so because you wish to be intimate with him again.

You should make it clear to his parents that the intimate relationship is over. This man must be willing to receive help. If he is not willing, he will not get better, regardless what you do.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories