My man is moving shady

January 11, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem with my boyfriend. We have been going out since early last year. Throughout our relationship, we have had a few problems that we have dealt with and overlooked.

However, about a week ago we had an argument about a silly thing. It has been going on and on, causing more confession between us.

One weekend, I went to a party with my friends. When it was finished I rang his phone so that he could stay the night by my house, which he normally does on a weekend.

Anyway, he didn't pick up his phone. In the morning I was told that he didn't go home. He and one of his friends slept at another friend's home.

I got upset and started accusing him of sleeping with a woman. We had a big argument and we decided to end the relationship.

We bought a car together and he said that he wanted back his share of the money. I said okay. That night I decided to give him a call and make up.

When I called him he was at a friend's party. He sounded okay when I spoke to him. At that time I was home alone so I asked him if I could come to the party, and he said no.

The next day I went to see him because he came to my house and I wasn't there. While I was there, his phone rang. He spoke for few minutes and went to the next room.

When he was finished, he deleted the number. I heard him telling the person on the phone that he was in pain, and the person was also telling him what time she got up.

We had a fuss about that and he said I should go if I want to. Then he said he only had two months of good times and six months of stress with me.

From that day on he has been giving me attitude. One day I was looking on the videos in his phone and to my surprise I saw him and a girl. It was dark so I couldn't see much.

I saw something that looked like his penis and also someone's bottom. She was making some sounds like "whoooooooooooo."

And then she said to him, "What are you doing?" I thought she was referring to the video. Then they both started saying someone was coming.

I asked him about it. He said that he met the girl at the party through a friend and they were not having sex, they were just talking on a step.

This was at the same party that he said I could not attend. I believed this stupid liar for two days. During that time his attitude changed and he said it was because of the arguments that we have been having.

I confronted him about the sex video again, which he denied. I told my mother about the way he has been acting. My mother called him and from then he started to be nice again.

I am so confused and I don't know what to do but cry, cry, cry. I really love him.


Dear Confused,

You seem to be very miserable. You don't believe in giving a man space. But at the same time, you cannot be sure what was in the video because you said it was dark.

You know that this man is lying. If he is not going to come clean and tell you the truth, you are wasting your time with him.

He knows he is fooling around other women, and when a man goes from woman to woman he can become infected with STDs and/or HIV/AIDS. This man does not want you anymore. It is time for you to wake up.

This guy has something hiding. In fact, he doesn't behave as if he loves you. Why couldn't you be at the same party with him?

I believe that you are going to have problems with him in the future. You should consider dropping him now.


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