Falling for my best friend
I must say that I am a big fan of yours. I love reading your column in The STAR. You are always giving good advice. I never thought that I would be writing to you. However, I have a bit of problem. I have known this guy all my life; he's my best friend and I am beginning to fall in love with him. But I know him too well and I don't want to complicate our friendship by telling him how I feel about him.
He says that I am changing because I don't talk to him and see him like in the past. I love him, honestly I do. I think we are soulmates but we just can't be together. In my head, I see us as the perfect couple, but because I know the way he is and he knows me, I think there would be trust issues if we were to be together. I just want to tell him how I feel and get it over with, but I am scared.
When I am around him, I get butterflies in my stomach, but I don't tell him. How can I overcome the feeling?
What do you think I should do, Pastor?
The answer to your question is easy. Do not become this man's lover. He knows too many things about you that he should not have known. And you know that you are fearful that he will never trust you totally. Let the friendship continue to be platonic, but nothing more. Don't cross over the line. If you do, you will live to regret it.
This man might even try to encourage you to hug and kiss him and to tell him even more about yourself, but don't do so. And remember, the day you cross the line, the good friendship that you have now will not be the same. So, whatever you know about him, keep that in your heart and let the friendship remains non-sexual.