Doctors can't tell me what went wrong
I am 26 years old. I have a problem that has been bugging me for years. That is aggressiveness. I am always angry. The smallest things hurt me.
I am always tired and weak. I have been to several doctors to do blood tests and other examinations but they all said "everything is fine."
My stepsister, who was living here in Jamaica with me for a few months before returning back to her mother overseas, always said bad things about me and spoke bad words to me when I was around her.
Her lifestyle was movies, parties, body piercings, sneaking away to her friend’s house and parties in the wee hours of night.
Her typical foreign life was uncontrollable. Beating her could not straighten her out. She is a loose cannon sexually. Sitting and talking to her was a waste of time.
I overheard her mother talking about her. She said she was taking drugs to my father. She was smuggling drugs into the country.
Her mother was concerned that she would be caught. Her life was on the line. A few days after she arrived in Jamaica, her old friends invited her to parties, big entertainment events and to their houses.
One day she was with me talking about some of our relatives that she met. She was telling me where they lived and gave me other details.
She started to look restless and she was about to fall. She held her head. She called out for our father and said she needed his help.
He looked at her and said "Happening again." She said yes, to what it is, I do not know. In five minutes, somebody came knocking at the gate. He dropped off a bag of white powder and a syringe with white powdery liquid.
She pushed the syringe into her veins and immediately she became normal. She surprised me by saying that the counsellor who looks after her said she must take the drugs when she needs them because she is in recovery.
She will not get over it overnight and she said the counsellor has to know where she is getting it from.
After a few more days her attitude towards me became remarkably hateful. She talked about my hair, botched my hair with scissors and dabbed bubble gum in it and beat me up.
She teased me and messed up my clothes that I got from my family with chemicals. There were always arguments about her attitude.
Today I finally figured it out. Everything she experienced here with me is happening to me.
I am feeling high, my eyes are red and sometimes I suddenly go into a shock at school. I get extremely aggressive and am unable to focus properly.
My years at school were a failure. She always envied me for being luckier in academics and looking prettier than her when our relatives took us out.
I am sick and worried about my state and it seems like nobody wants to tell me the truth. Doctors seem to be hiding information from me.
I know she has family in high places. I am scared because my life is in danger. Everywhere I go it seems like there are eyes watching over me.
Pastor, I do not know what to do. I am sick and worried. Please, I need your help.
The Helpless Victim.
I am sorry to hear that you feel distressed and although you have been seeking medical care, your condition has not improved.
In fact, it seems to me that as you get older, you feel more depressed. You complained about your stepsister who has been involved in illicit drug use and has been doing crazy things.
It seems to me that both of you need psychiatric care. You have not admitted it, but it appears as if you have taken some of the drugs too and it has affected you negatively.
Yes, you have been to doctors but I would suggest that you ask one of the doctors to refer you to a psychiatrist. I believe that he/she would help you.
In the mean time, keep away from drugs.