Asking God to control my sexual appetite
I am a 20-year-old male, and I am having a problem. For the past four years I have been in love with a girl. We are both Christians. I see her as the woman I will marry. When we met, we were not Christians, and we were having sex regularly. Since we became Christians, we find it difficult to control our sexual urges, so we do have sex sometimes, although we feel guilty after doing so.
We know that we are fornicators, but we do pray for forgiveness. I feel that God is upset with us. We are asking you to pray for us. We know that the bible says "when one becomes a Christian, old things are passed away and everything becomes new".
Dear Struggling Christian,
The bible does not teach that when one becomes a Christian all sinful deeds of the flesh would automatically cease. Sexual sin is not always easy to break, but it is something that one has to try not to do. That is why the writer of Romans 12:1-3 says, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
You and your girlfriend would not be able to just wave a magic wand and stop having sex just like that. You would have to make a great effort to serve God. That is why the writer of Romans said, "I beg of you to present your body a living sacrifice to God".
You and your girlfriend should not put yourselves in situations where it would be easy to have sex. I know that there are times when you would want to be alone, but if you are endeavouring to please the Lord and you know that both of you would be tempted to have sex, do not go to a secluded spot. Go where others can see you.
Perhaps you are not yet ready to get married because you are young and you have certain goals to be met before you get married, so you will have to ask God to control your sexual appetite. The Good Bible says, "to avoid fornication, one should get married," but that might be out of the question for a long time to come.
When you and your girlfriend go on dates, play games, read together, avoid petting because petting would lead you to have sex.