19 and trying to get pregnant for another woman's man

March 08, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old. I met a guy last December in a tourist-resort area. He is 30 years old, and he has a five-year-old child. He and the child's mother are not together anymore, but he supports the child. I really admire that about him. He makes sure that his son gets what he needs. The problem I am having is that he's living with a young woman while we are having an intimate relationship.

He has his own house, and although he's living with this woman, I am really in love with him and he really likes me. He said that he wants to end the relationship with her because she has a son who doesn't have any manners to him. He has to be finding food and money to support them. He also stated that she's not interested in seeking a job. He said that he doesn't want to seem ungrateful because when he and his child's mother were breaking up, she was there for him emotionally.

He said that he admires the fact that I am 19 years old, I am working, and I don't stress him out for anything. I want to have a child by him. We have tried, but it hasn't worked. We are continuing to try, but this time, I am confused. When I look into the situation, if he's living with a woman and is saying that he doesn't want to be ungrateful to her, when I get pregnant by him, what's going to happen?

We talked about church and giving our lives to God. He is willing to work with whatever I say. Sometimes he says that he thinks he loves me too much because I have him doing whatever I say. I really like him, but I don't want to get myself into anything that I would regret.

Please give me your advice.


Dear S.R.,

It seems to me that you believe everything this man tells you. Someone needs to let you know that this man is going to 'mess' you up. I say that to wake you up. He is a liar, but you are so blind that you cannot see. He is telling you what he wants you to hear. I want you to wake up. You are sleeping. You are also naÔve.

This man had a child before you met him. He said that he has broken up with the mother of the child, but he is living with another woman, and this woman is the mother of a male child. He is living with this woman, but he told you he plans to leave her because her son is disrespectful to him. You accept what he says. You don't know if he is speaking the truth, but you accept what he told you. He tries to make you feel that you are special by telling you that you have changed him.

Let me put it to you. You have not changed him. He is still a bad man who very soon may get you pregnant and find excuses or reasons to leave you. You are 19 years old. You are working, but you are not educated so to speak. You shouldn't be thinking about a baby. You should try your best to go back to school and pursue a good education. Men are not running away. You will get a good man. Use wisdom.

This man is 30 years old. You didn't say what type of work he does. If he truly loves you, he will encourage you to get yourself an education or a skill. He has lots of sweet talk, but he is not a good man. Turn away from this man. If you don't, he might indeed get you pregnant, and you may suffer as a result.


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