My husband searches my vagina for sperms


March 12, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a serious problem. I have been with this man from I was 14 years old. We got married four years ago. I am 24 and he is 27 years old. He constantly accuses me of cheating, curses me, and tells me that he does not trust any woman, based on the way he saw his mother and other female relatives live.

He refuses to accept that our three-year-old daughter is his. But everyone, including his own family, says she is the image of him. I have never been with anyone else but him in my entire life. I am a Christian who fears God and wants to live for him. What hurts me the most is that my parents and relatives told me not to get involved with him. Sometimes I wonder if God is punishing me for being disobedient. Sometimes I wonder if it is his level of education why he behaves this way, because he can

barely read and write.

We both work, but he only wants me to save my money in a joint bank account. Pastor, since I got married, I don't know what it means to be happy. It's either I cry or we curse every other day.

He searches my vagina to see if he finds sperm or if it is bruised by another man. He has female friends that call him, but no male friends are allowed to call me or even to look at me, then he accuses me of having an affair with them. He would call my workplace every day to see if I am at work or when I leave work.

Pastor, I am deeply depressed, and all my friends are happy while I am sad. I often ask God why me. I want this relationship to work. But, I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

Please, give me your advice.


Dear N.M.,

Which woman could have such a man and be happy? You have married a fool. Put it another way, he is an idiot.

And it is so unfortunate that you are married to this man. Only an idiot would search the vagina of his wife to see if another man's sperm were in it. My goodness, gracious, what a nincompoop? He is trying to humiliate you, but in doing so, he is exposing himself.

You must be a real Christian, because it is only a genuine Christian and one who is trying to please the Lord will submit herself to such a search by her husband.

Girl, you know that you are not doing anything wrong. You are not being unfaithful. Pray and ask the good Lord to help you to walk uprightly. You are not obligated to put your money into the same account with this man. In fact, it would be prudent for you to have your own account because you don't know what this idiot will do.

Perhaps you may suggest to him that both of you go to see a family counsellor. But do not be surprised if he does not wish to go. Encourage him to go to school. He cannot read and write, and that is part of the reason why he is behaving as a fool.


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