Friends think he will leave me after I file for him


March 14, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a 37-year-old woman and l live in the US, but I was born in Jamaica. I have lived in the US since I was a child. I visit Jamaica very often. I even have a child for someone who lives in Jamaica. My child's father and I are not together. I have found another man in Jamaica. I truly love him. He is very nice, and he is good to me. But my problem is that all my friends here in the US are telling me that I should not marry him and bring him to the States, because we all know that when these men get to America, they leave their wives.

I am a strong believer in whatever happens, it is what is ordained to be. All I know is that I love him with all my heart. Can you please give me some advice? Thank you in advance.


Dear N.B.,

You do not know what the future holds. Those who say they know what will happen to relationships are liars. Every relationship has its problems, and even those that appear to be solid sometimes fail. You say you have found a good man. You and this man would like to get married.

I wouldn't discourage you, but I must point out to you that long-distance relationships can be very challenging and stressful. Therefore, you should get to know each other well before you say 'I do'.

It is true that some men have married women who are living in the US to get a pass into the country. However, there have been some genuine relationships, and these relationships have lasted. I suggest that whenever you are in Jamaica, you and this man should go to see a family counsellor for premarital counselling.


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