I can't get over him


July 06, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old American girl who has serious problems getting over a recent scandal with my boyfriend, or should I say, ex-boyfriend. He is 20 years old. We were together for three years. We attended different schools. We met on Facebook, and we started off as really good friends until I admitted that I had feelings for him. He said that he had feelings for me too. We were friends for about six months before we hit it off.

At first, we had the smoothest relationship, and I thought that it could actually work well. It went well for a year, and then things started to go uphill then downhill again, which I understand happens in every relationship. But I realised that jealousy got the best of both of us. He didn't trust me, so I don't see why I should have trusted him. I couldn't be seen with guys. No matter if we were related. He would flip or hardly want to speak to me.

To be honest, I have had clean, innocent friendships with my friends.

After I started to talk to him, nobody wanted to talk or hang out with me, not even girls. They told me that a guy who believes that his partner is unfaithful has something up his sleeve. I hardly have friends anymore. I always complained about it, and he would say it was because I was cheating. So, one day, I decided to stand up for myself. I told him that I couldn't have him alone as my friend while he had one directory of women that he called his 'friends', especially since I couldn't have guy friends. So, I talked to him again, and he started to act distant as usual while I was trying to work things out.

He overreacted just because I was telling the truth. He didn't want to admit that I was right. He told me it was done between him and me. I can't explain how torn and disappointed I am in this guy. I had so much hope in him. I am now out of control and finding it hard to get over him. I drink every night, and I can't seem to stop. I tried. I don't sleep well. I'm usually picky when it comes to food. Now I'm eating as if I am eating for two. I don't want to go anywhere. I just stay home with no one to really talk to because I feel they don't really understand what I am going through. I hate to think that he is somewhere out there with a girl when he should be with me.

What can I do to stop thinking about him?


Dear R.B.,

I suggest that you make an appointment to see a family counselor or a psychologist. You are depressed, and your depression will get worse. When a person is unable to sleep and is drinking to try to overcome their problems, it is time for them to get professional help. So, call a family counselor today, and make an appointment to see him/her.


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