Abandoned by my family


August 03, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for many years. Now I have an issue, and I feel that you are the best person for me to run to. I have been living with my father's

family for more than 17 years, and they always used to tell me things about my mother to turn my mind from her. I was upset with my mother after hearing what they had to say, but she would always say that they were lying.

When I was 14, my father's

family turned his mind against me. I don't know why. I had to start sleeping with my grandmother because there was nowhere else for me to stay. I didn't have any other options. I started keeping my things in her room. One night, she threw out my belongings. I asked her why she was throwing my things out, and she started to curse me. She said she was doing it because my mother and I were having sex with the same man, and I believed that she and I were the same size.

My dad wasn't there at the time; he was out working. I called him and told him the situation, and my cousin told my grandmother that she should not say these things to me. They started telling me things tha lowered my self-esteem. It reached a point where I didn't have anyone to talk to about anything. I started to cut up myself and jump off walls to kill myself. I ended up in the hospital a couple of times, and no one tried to find out what was happening to me.


My grandmother did not want to have anything to do with me, but I was always trying to be her friend although it seemed impossible. I had to sleep on the verandah or on the floor. My dad turned his back on me because of his woman. He does not give me anything.

I am so confused because I do not want to become involved with men to survive. My mother prefers her other child to me, so I don't want to live with her. I would like to try to get a job. I was told to get an NIS number and an ID card to get a job. I am totally confused, and I need your help.

I sit at nights and cry. I really need your help. Please help me.


Dear S.R.,

It may appear that your grandmother, your father and your mother have abandoned you. But I want to assure you that God has not forgotten you, and I will do my best to help you. I have already sent you an email. I am sorry that you did not send your cell number. I have deleted some of the things that you have written to protect you.

I am not going to say anything about your grandmother, but I hope that as soon as you have seen my email, you will contact me. I gave you my word, and believe me, I will keep it.


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