I left my wife because she loves obeah

August 07, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 43. I got married five years ago, but the marriage did not last. It is not all my fault. My mother-in-law was always meddling in my business, and she believes in obeah. My wife started to believe in obeah, too.

I got involved with another girl because my wife would rub up herself with ointments. I stopped sleeping with my wife and I told her that if she didn't stop rubbing up herself with these stinking things, I was going to leave.

Pastor, I love my wife. She was not always like that, but I don't know what has gone into her head. It is because of her why this other girl is now pregnant for me.

I am really worried about it because this other girl cannot read much. She is a dunce, but looking at her, you would never know.

She has beautiful shape, lovely hips, and a nice bottom. But, it is costing me because I still have to support my wife and pay the rent where my wife lives because I haven't given up the place.

I have one child with my wife, and every day, she asks me when I am coming home. My wife's mother says that if she wants, she can get the obeah man to kill me, but because of the child, she is not going to go that far.

Before I left my wife, I had stopped eating from her. I grew up in church. I did not know my wife very well when we got married.

Now, I regret marrying her. Is it wrong to divorce this woman? I know she has not kept a man with me, I can swear to that.

My brother told me that I should go for counselling with my wife. She said that she would not go anywhere with me and that she would go alone.

You may wonder how I got involved with this other girl. She is a country girl, and she came to Kingston to visit her relatives. I saw her walking on the

road and stopped to ask her if she wanted a ride and she said yes. That is how we became friends and she told me why she was in Kingston.

When we had sex, I did not use the condom because I didn't plan to have sex that night. Now, she is seven months pregnant.

E.F.

Dear E.F.,

What you have not explained is why your mother-in-law doesn't like you. Have you abused her daughter? That is missing in your story.

If sons-in-law love their wives and take care of them and their grandchildren, mothers-in-law would go to the extreme to show them love.

But when sons-in-law are lazy, abusive and mean, mothers-in-law are not afraid to verbally attack them. That is why I am asking why your mother-in-law has turned against you.

But let's leave that alone for the time being.

When you were courting your wife, didn't you suspect that her people believed in and practised

necromancy? Didn't that ever come up?

A man should really know a woman well before he commits himself to her in marriage. What is it that your mother-in-law wants? You must have an idea.

How could her daughter not understand that she was driving you away by using these ointments that you consider very unpleasant?

You are blaming your mother-in-law for destroying your marriage. She has strongly contributed to that.

But, on the other hand, you made matters worse when you became involved with this young woman who is presently carrying your child.

Your wife is not prepared to go with you for counselling. It would seem to me that she has made up her mind to bring this relationship to an end.

Perhaps what is needed is for you to ask your wife, your mother-in-law, your pastor and someone who knows you all very well to meet and to talk about these problems.

If your wife refuses to attend a 'family conference', you may have to consult an attorney. That should be the last resort, as I see it.

Before I go, let me caution you. If you and your wife are not going to get back together, don't abandon your pregnant girlfriend.

Do your very best to see that she goes back to school. She needs help, and you have got involved with her, you cannot just walk away from her.

Pastor

Other Tell Me Pastor Stories