My friend slept with my boy


September 17, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 40 and I am in need of your help. I do not have children of my own, but I took one of my sister's children and grew him up as my own. He is 18.

She had this child when she was 20 and the father did not care much for him. She found herself another man and this man didn't like the boy.

So, I took him. He calls me 'Mommy' and he calls his own mother 'Auntie'.

I sent this boy to school and I am very proud of him. He is well behaved. One of my friends came to visit me from New York, and would you believe that this woman introduced sex to my boy?

I was not aware of it. I left my friend at the house, and when I came home, I could smell perfume on my son when he came near to me. I asked him if he went to see his girlfriend and he said no.

Pastor, it was the same type of perfume that I saw my girlfriend using. So, I thought that she sprayed some on him.

I also had a thought that she was playing with him, but I dismissed it out of my mind. I also said to myself she wouldn't interfere with this boy because he is still a kid. But I was wrong.

One day, I came in from work and saw her lying down on his bed. So, I asked her why she was in his bed and she said nothing.

I said, 'Don't tell me that you are fooling around with my son?' and she said nothing would be wrong with that because he is a big man.

This woman is 42 and she has a son of her own. I couldn't bear the thought that she might have been having sex with my son, so I asked him if he went to bed with her and he admitted that they had sex three times.


Then she started to blame him, saying that he was the one who approached her. She even said that he came to her bedroom one day when she was sleeping and tickled her foot bottom and she woke up and saw him only in his briefs and when she held him, she noticed that he had an erection.

I stopped her because I couldn't believe that she came into my house and had sex with my nephew (son). He doesn't hide anything from me.

When he had sex with his girlfriend for the first time, he told me about it.

I called him and asked him if he was the one who had put sex talk to her first and he said no; he said she was the one who dragged him down on the bed.

She had one more week remaining in her holiday, but I told her to leave the following day. I threatened to tell her son about her behaviour.

This woman is living with a man abroad. I told my son to go and get himself checked out because they did not use a condom.

Pastor, what do you think I should do? I am sorry I told her to leave, but I was upset.


Dear V.D.,

I understand what you are saying. You did not expect this young man and your friend to become sexually involved with each other.

Whether he made the approach to her or she made it to him is not the issue. Regardless of what this woman said about your boy, both of them were wrong.

But, I cannot encourage you to make an issue out of it. You should not allow your friend to come back to your house while your son is living with you.

That is the furthest I think you should go with this matter.

I don't expect you to say anything to his girlfriend or to your friend's man.


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