Want my older boyfriend to propose

February 14, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am 32 years old. I don't have children. My father died leaving me a home in Jamaica. I was his only child and he was not married.

I am a nurse and I live in the US. When my father died, I went to Jamaica and buried him. Friends helped me to find good tenants for my house.

The tenants take good care of the house and they lodge the money in my account.

My father left this house debt free. I have a two-bedroom apartment here in the US. I have a boyfriend but we are not living together. He is Jamaican.

I am getting tired of him because he has never proposed to me. He is very jealous and because of him I dropped all my male friends.

I talk to them on the phone, but I don't go out with them. This guy said that he is saving to buy a house. He was married but is divorced and he is 20 years my senior.

I am not worried about his age because I had younger guys and all they were interested in was to go to bed.

I would like to have at least two children. He wants to return to Jamaica when he is 60. That doesn't give us enough time to raise a family. What do you think?

I did not plan to go back to Jamaica until I am a senior citizen. I don't know what to do. As I said, he has not proposed to me but he has asked if there is another guy in my life.


Dear P.F.,

Concerning your boyfriend, he is much older than you and he is divorced. Please, understand that much older men are very jealous of the women who are much younger than they are.

They know that lots of men are going to admire them and perhaps try to date them and get them in bed.

Often, they are not sure if these younger women will be faithful to them. So, you have to assure this man at all times that you are for real and that you won't cheat on him.

He has not offered to marry you, but what you should do is to ask him straight. You shouldn't wait anymore.

You would like to have at least two children and you do not want to wait too late without having a family. It would be difficult for you when you get much older.

It wouldn't be wrong for you to ask the man what are his plans, and to tell him that both of you should end the relationship if he doesn't intend to marry you, and to do so soon.

If his plans are to return to Jamaica when he is a senior citizen, he only has 10 to 15 years to go. You have many years ahead of you.

Many people retire at 60 or 65. You want to spend more time in the US while he wants to return to Jamaica.

Right now, both of you are not going in the same direction and if you intend to be a couple and work together, you have to be going in the same direction and seeing eye to eye.

So, it is time for you to talk and not take things for granted.


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