Keep getting pregnant for cheaters

February 21, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I am pregnant with my second child; my first child was for a different man.

My babyfather-to-be takes really good care of me, but, sadly, he's always cheating. He's the most lying creature alive.

All I gave this man was love, truth and honesty. I never cheated - not once, nor will I ever.

I had a rough childhood and a stressful relationship with my first child's father, but I managed to overpower that and let go.

I never really loved him as much anyway, but I was hoping to grow to love him more for the sake of my child.

But he's too childish and stupid - even now. While with him, he disowned my child and was living wild.

Even though we couldn't get along, he still loved me and kind of treated me well.

Then he got another girl pregnant. I found out when my baby was six weeks old. But the God I serve helped me to move on.

Now, as for my current relationship. I used to have this man as my best friend, but no more.

I have known him for about seven years and we have been together for three.

Two years before we got together, my first babyfather and I broke up and I was living single, stressed and struggling, as he did nothing much to help us.

I had no one to turn to, talk to or to help me with my child, and she already started school. It was rough.

Then I met up again with my friend who I hadn't seen or heard from for years. He is now my unborn child's father.

My life turned around big time after we got reacquainted. He got me a job that paid much better than my previous one. We were happy.

He provided food in the house and I did the same, and happily I was able to take care of my daughter the way I wanted.

After a year, I stopped working. I got pregnant but he never wanted the child, so I did an abortion. He already had another daughter.

We broke up because he was cheating constantly, though he said he would stop. I moved to another parish, but he found out and did everything in his power to win me back.

When my baby was to start school, my unborn child's father sent me money to buy her stuff and food.

He cleared all my bills and sent me money every week for food, clothes and my hair, and also for my daughter to attend school. We were good.

He stopped cheating, but started again after a while.

We thought a child would build us more since we have so much love for each other and my daughter and his daughter were happy.

But, sadly, I found out that he got another girl pregnant. I'm so heartbroken, because it's my second time experiencing this, but this time I was really in love and never wanted my daughter to see me with someone else.

She loves him and he's a great stepfather to her. I'm a great mom to his daughter. We were such a happy family until he ruined everything.

I deserve better, but I blame myself for all this. He said he's not sure if he will still continue with the other woman. He said he's not sure about the child, but I don't believe him because he made us hungry so as to buy everything for that child's birth.

I left his house. He has been trying to make us work. He has asked me to marry him twice, and I have refused.

This is so much, I hope you are not confused.

T.B.

Dear T.B.,

I am not confused, but evidently you are very confused because the situation in which you have found yourself was partly created by you. If you knew that these men that you were having sex with were so promiscuous, you should not have had sex with them, especially unprotected sex.

So often, people put themselves into situations that could have been avoided, and you have done just that. I may sound harsh, but I don't wish to be.

What I would suggest to you is that you go to see a family counsellor and follow their suggestions. I wish you well.

Pastor

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