My daughter is pregnant for her stepbrother

March 20, 2019

Dear Pastor,

My man and I became friends five years ago. He was never married and he was kind of wild.

He has five children with five different women, but he is a hard worker, and he supported his children. None of the women has ever taken him to court.

He is 50, and none of his children are living with him.

Now, we are living together and one thing I can say about him is that he takes care of the home. I don't have to tell him twice about what I need.

The big problem we are having is so difficult for me to talk about. I have a daughter who is 18 and she is living with us. They get along well. This man has a son who is 23.

I noticed that he was coming to the house often and talking to his father. I did not see any funny movements with my daughter and him.

They greet each other, but he spends most of his time talking to his father and then he leaves.

Well, pastor, to cut a long story short, my daughter is three months' pregnant for the man's son. The doctor has confirmed that she is pregnant.

When I heard that she was pregnant, I held my belly and bawled because that was not something I expected from her. She told me that it was the only one time they had sex.

Pastor, I don't know what to do. People are going to say it is this man who got her pregnant and not his son.

My daughter knows how I have been struggling and that this man is like a gift to me. I can't tell when last I was hungry. If I could find a place to send her, I would.

I have started to go to church and he is coming with me. We want to straighten out our lives, but look what has happened.

Pastor, give me your best advice.


Dear G.L,

I wish it were possible for me to talk to you face to face and to ask you certain questions. It's not possible, but I could still ask you a few questions.

Do you feel that it's your carelessness that has caused your daughter to become intimate with this man's son? She knows that this man and you are lovers and that you all are living together.

Why would she allow herself to develop an intimate relationship with this man's son? This young man is not good either because he should have known better.

He is older, and I am assuming more mature. He knows exactly what is going on between you and his father.

He did not have to become sexually involved with your daughter. What he has done is so wrong, and both of them have brought shame on the family.

I cannot, with a clear conscience, tell you to leave this man. There are those who may condemn me for not telling you to walk away from this relationship.

Why should you end the relationship? You have not done anything wrong. Yes, you are going to have to bear the shame, but your daughter and the son must decide what they are going to do.

If anybody should move on, it should be your daughter. I doubt very much that she would want to bring an end to her relationship with the guy.

It is such a messy situation because your daughter has to consider your gentleman as her stepfather, and the guy who got her pregnant would consider you his stepmother. I don't like it.

If they want to stay together, they should go and live far away from you and your man.

If you and your man believe that you should help your daughter, you may consider taking the child after she has given birth.

You may raise this child as your daughter and give her the opportunity to get a profession. That might not be an easy thing to do.


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