Best friend slept with my man

April 26, 2019

Dear Pastor,

I have a complaint and I hope you can help me. I am 23 and I moved in with my boyfriend a year ago. I knew him to be a very decent man. He comes from a good family.

His grandfather who grew him was a pastor. His mother died when he was young and his father was more of a wild man. He didn't support him very well.

My boyfriend is an engineer. I have a girlfriend; you can call her my best friend. She was spending time with us. We are living in a two-bedroom townhouse.

She was always very friendly with my boyfriend. They were always running jokes at each other, but nothing sexual.

One day she told me that my boyfriend 'put question' to her. I asked her what he said and she said he told her that she has a lovely rump and every time she walks pass him and he looks at her, he is turned on. I didn't say anything.

One evening when my boyfriend came home, I told him what my friend said and he admitted that he told her that she had a lovely shape, but he didn't tell her that she turned him on.

She said that she was only joking when she told me that. I told my boyfriend that was not the type of joke he should make with our guest. She left the following week.

But here is the problem I am having now, Pastor. I have found out that he is taking her out. She confided in another friend that they have had sex with each other, but she wouldn't do it again because his private is too small.

I didn't expect him to go to her. I know she likes money. She told the friend that he gave her $7,000 and that is the only thing that would make her have sex with him again.

My boyfriend called her a liar, but I believe that in this case, my boyfriend is lying, because if he did not have sex with her, how would she know that he has a small penis?

I told my boyfriend that we should go for counselling. I have never had this problem with my boyfriend before. I don't know what to do; I would like your advice, please.


Dear A.T.,

To be very frank with you, this woman is not a good friend. One would not expect a good friend to become sexually involved with one's man.

When she left your house, they were still in contact and it is not difficult to believe that they went to bed. If you know for sure that you have never described his private part to her, he either told her or she saw it for herself when he took off his clothes and made love to her.

Perhaps you don't think that he did. Perhaps you think that he is a gentleman and gentlemen don't cheat. If that is what you are thinking, then you are so wrong.

He was willing to risk the relationship that both of you had while the woman was in your house and when she left your house, he probably felt that it was easier for both of them to get together.


Giving her $7,000 is nothing to write home about because he is in a position to do so. I hate to tell you that now that this man and your girlfriend have had sex, it is likely that he will go back for more and she is not going to resist him because she needs his money.

I suggest that you tell your boyfriend that you believe that he is having an affair and you want him to stop, and if he doesn't, you would leave him.

The only problem in putting out this threat to him is that if it is sex he wants, he might tell you to go and he would either encourage your friend to come back or he would find another woman.

I am sorry that your girlfriend let you down. On the other hand, please understand that you should never put "Cheese in puss mouth." I hope you understand what I mean.

If this man really loves you and you genuinely love him, tell him that you want both of you to meet with a family counsellor for professional help. I wish you well.


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