Giving my boyfriend ‘bun’ with a taxi man

January 24, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and I am writing to you for your advice. I have a boyfriend. He is 25. We have been friends for two years.

When I met him, I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no. I asked him, also, if he had children and he said no. I started to visit him and sometimes I slept over.

I am living with my sister but we only have one room. Sometimes her boyfriend visits her and I have to sleep on the floor; he is paying the rent.

I love my boyfriend, but sometimes he does not give me any money and I have to cheat on him when I can't find money to pay my school fees.

I don't like cheating on him. He asked me many times if I am cheating, or if I have ever cheated on him and I told him no. But, pastor, I am doing it.

'in thing'

My sister knows that I cheated on my boyfriend. She told me that she has cheated on her boyfriend, too, and I shouldn't make that bother me because it is the 'in thing.'

The guy I cheated on my boyfriend with is a big man. But he is a taxi driver and he is living with his children's mother. She doesn't know that he is cheating.

I don't think it makes sense for me to have a boyfriend and have to be cheating. He should give me what I need. My sister wants both of us to rent a place and have our own rooms.

I think this is a good idea. I told the taxi guy that my sister and I want to have another place. He says he would help me with the rent, but I don't want that because he would want to come and sleep there.

Sometime I feel so confused. I am asking you for your advice.

L.N.

Dear L.N.,

You and your sister are trying to face life and to pay your bills. She has her boyfriend who is paying the rent. So, you are 'kotching' with her.

You have made a decision to get a boyfriend, but this guy can't help you much; so you have found a taxi man.

Some taxi men work very hard. Many of the cars that they use to do their work are not theirs. Other people own the cars and they have to give the owner a certain amount of money every day, even before they start to 'work for themselves'.

So here you are having two men; your boyfriend, who is not earning much, and this taxi man, who is living with his children's mother. You have to understand that he won't be able to give you much money, either.

It is very unfortunate that your sister feels that you can cheat on your boyfriend and not feel worried about it, because she is doing the same. Aren't you girls afraid to do these things?

I do not wish you anything that is bad, but we hear about men hurting women over this cheating thing. So when your sister tells you that nothing is wrong in cheating and it is the 'in thing', she is not giving you good advice.

Right now, you are seeing this taxi man not because you love him, but because you feel that you need money. It is like you and your sister are selling your bodies, just not on Back Road.

I don't mean to insult you at all. I am just trying to tell you to desist from what you are doing. Find another way to earn some money.

On weekends, you should think about working in a store or fast-food restaurant to get some money. You haven't said anything about your parents; perhaps they can't help you much.

But I beg you, stop taking money from your taxi man. Who knows if his children's mother will find out about you.

She may come after you and there would be a big fight. Stay with your sister until you can do better. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor

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