Why won’t she tell me her age?

April 01, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am not from your country, but I read your column weekly and I enjoy your answers to the people in need. I am a 43-year-old male who has been in a relationship for about a year now. I used to be running around with many women, but there's a time for everything in life.

When I met this woman, I fell so deeply in love with her. After a while, people started telling me that she had been with a guy before me, but they were still together.

I asked her and she denied it. If we both are in the street and he calls her, she leaves me and goes to talk to him. If I say anything, she gets upset with me.

Pastor, since I met her, I have kept asking about her age and she has never told me. But one night I sneaked a look into her bag and checked her identification card and found out that she's older than I am.

After that, I asked her again about her age, and she still didn't tell me. So I kept telling her that I didn't care if she was older. I love her with all my heart.

It's like she's hiding the world from me. I honestly don't know what to do again. I am wondering if I should continue to try and save the relationship because I love her. Or I should let go?

Please, help me.

Mr Confused

Dear Mr Confused

I cannot encourage you to continue in this relationship. You are not dealing with an honest woman. Right now, she sees you as a fool.

Perhaps she is with you because she can get money from you. I do not doubt that you have love in your heart for this woman. But she does not have genuine love for you.

People have told you that she is still having a relationship with the man she had before you came into her life. I am here to tell you that I agree with the folks who told you about him. Something is still going on between them and she has shown you that they are still lovers. You are making yourself a big fool by continuing to love this woman.

I can imagine how much this man is laughing at you.

I don't even want to comment on the matter of her age because a man can truly love an older woman. But this particular woman is not truthful.

She is a 'ginnal'. So, end the relationship with her, and do so right away. I wish you well.


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