Got my neighbour pregnant

July 01, 2020

Dear Pastor,

Good day to you. I read your column a lot and I want to say keep up the good work.

I am a 24-year-old, and I am in a situation and I need your advice. I was having a relationship with a 43-year-old woman who is my neighbour, and I got her pregnant.

I don't know what to do because I cannot support a child. I talked to this woman about doing an abortion and she refused to do so. But she is not in a financial position to take care of the baby either.

Now she is pressuring me, Pastor, and she has decided to tell my parents about it also.

What should I do?

R.R.

Dear R.R.,

You are 24 years old and you are an adult. The 43-year-old woman who is your neighbour is an adult. Both of you decided to have a relationship. Both of you knew that if you had unprotected sex, this woman may get pregnant, and that is exactly what happened.

You should have known also that you are not financially able to support a child and that is why you should not go to a woman 'bareback'. The woman is careless to allow you to have sex without using a condom.

Now that she is pregnant you are scared and you believe that the easy way out is for this woman to have an abortion. She has refused to do so and you have no right to try and force her to terminate the pregnancy. In fact, you are very much out of order. But the woman is also to be blamed because she encouraged you to have this relationship with and she is very much your senior.

She has threatened to tell your parents that you got her pregnant. How would that help the situation? In what way is she pressuring you? You don't have any money. I hope she is not foolish enough to believe that your parents would be obligated to support this child. You are now going to find that condoms are cheaper than baby formulas. If you are not working, you better go out and get a job to support your child. If you are indeed the father, you have a moral obligation to support him or her.

Pastor.

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