My man’s behaviour changed after we got married

February 23, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am a Jamaican, but I have been living in America for 15 years. I have always wanted to marry a Jamaican man. I have gone out with many Americans but to me, my Jamaican men are still the best. I don't have anything bad to say about the American guys, but one of these days, when I am old, I would like to return to Jamaica, and I don't want anyone to discourage me from doing so.

My sister told me about a Jamaican man she could recommend. I went to Jamaica and we linked up. He said that after seeing me, it was like love at first sight. My only disappointment is that he is only a little shorter than I am, but I got over that pretty soon after meeting him. The man has two children with two different women. I told him to clear that hurdle because he said he was not going to marry any of these women. He told me that he broke up with them. My sister told me that I should check that out, and I found out that he was not with any of them anymore.

I used to help him support the children. I came back to Jamaica and we got married. He is now living in America with me, but it is the worst thing I could have done because he is womanising. He cannot be satisfied having me as his only woman. Every woman I introduce him to, he wants them. He calls them and makes dates with them. I can't deal with him. He has even got a young girl pregnant. She said he never told her that he was married. He is saying that the child is not his. I told him that a DNA would tell.

My husband is not working, so he gives these women some of the money that I give him. I made a mistake by marrying this man and I am going to divorce him. I need your advice. I am also wondering whether I should report him to the government.


Dear M.E.,

Your sister should not have encouraged you to marry this man when you found out that he had fathered two children. You should not have encouraged him to end the relationship with her. She hasn't done him anything, but he saw you as an opportunity to live in North America, and because you were in such a hurry to get married, you encouraged him to do so. So, your relationship did not begin on a good footing, and you cannot be sure that this man even loves you. It is almost like a business relationship.

Perhaps your husband is still seeking love and that's why he is running around and chasing other women and having affairs with them. Something is missing. He is a very careless man, and he is embarrassing you; but he doesn't care. Reporting him to immigration will not help, but you may want to discuss that with an immigration lawyer. Who knows, your husband might want to return to Jamaica. I am sorry your marriage has not worked out.


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