Boyfriend’s brother tried to sleep with me
Dear Pastor,
I have a problem I would like to relate to you. I am living with a man but we are not yet married. We have been together for three years. I was married but my husband died.
He was 20 years older than me. He had his own home and had four children. He took care of them and left property for each of them. I have been doing some repairs on the house that he left for me. This man I am now living with has a brother and he rented a house. He rented us the small side. He is younger than my boyfriend. He has taken set on me. When he told me that he loved me and that I should keep that as a secret between us, I told him that he was crazy and he needed to get his head examined. I never took it for a joke, but I was scared to tell his brother. He is not living with any woman so I told him to find a woman and settle down and behave himself.
LET HIM IN
One night I was in my room and I heard someone knocking on the door that divides the side of the house that we are living in. When I asked who it was, he identified himself and asked me if I could let him in and I said no because I was alone and his brother was not there. He said that is why he wanted to come in because he knew I wanted company. I decided that I would tell his brother what is going on. So as soon as his brother came, I told him. His brother asked him why he was harassing me and he said that it was a joke.
Pastor, it was no joke. We decided to move and now we have a comfortable place and my house is being painted. My boyfriend and his brother don't speak to each other any more because of the incident. I feel guilty because if I had not said anything, they would have been talking and living in unity. We used to pay him $25,000 rent. It wasn't worth it because it was only one bedroom, a kitchenette and a bathroom. I couldn't allow myself to lie down with my brother-in-law. I couldn't live with that.
My boyfriend said that he is not going to talk to him unless he is willing to apologise for harassing me and wanting to have an affair with me. I really feel that I caused problems between the two brothers.
E.W.
Dear E.W.,
You were correct in telling your man that his brother was trying to get you to go to bed with him and that he tried to be intimate with you and you told him that you were not interested.
On that particular evening when your boyfriend wasn't around, he tried to get you to give him access to your room. That was not a secret that you could have kept. I repeat, you had a right to tell your man about his brother's behaviour and your man knows that his brother should apologise.
Having said the above, let me say that I am glad that your late husband did not die and leave you as a pauper. He also left his children with wealth. Although you miss him, you will forever be grateful to him for what he has done for you. So often when some men die, their widows are left to suffer and they have to rely on relatives and sometimes other men to meet their needs. But that is not true in your case.
You have not said when this man and you will get married. If both of you decide to get married, make sure that you attend premarital counselling and please consult a lawyer and have him or her draw up a prenuptial agreement so that you will feel quite comfortable in marrying this new man. Please do not ignore my suggestion.
Pastor