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Malvo

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #15 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:40pm

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:11pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 7:50pm:

Quote from londonlover on Oct 29^th, 2009, 5:50am:

It is realistic but rear.

Monogamous relationships are realistic and widely practiced. We either get lost in the definition or the manner in which monogamous relationships are practiced.

Before we could have a sound discussion, we should, perhaps, define Monogamy in terms of practice and constitutes.

For argument sake, lets say someone has been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years, but once cheated during their relationship - does this mean that the culprit doesn't adhere to monogamy?

no, he's still 'practicing'...

Everyone make at least one poor choices at some point - this doesn't mean that the person have forgotten or willingly refrain from practicing his/her philosophy...

Before we could have a sound discussion, define Monogamy in terms of practice?

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Malvo God Member Posts: 6636 Gender:	Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? Reply #16 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:43pm Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:09pm: so, if a priest practices abstinence but every 4 yrs has a fling, is the priest abstinent? Can't answer unless you define abstinent...
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Faraway

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #17 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:47pm

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:40pm:

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:11pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 7:50pm:

Quote from londonlover on Oct 29^th, 2009, 5:50am:

It is realistic but rear.

Monogamous relationships are realistic and widely practiced. We either get lost in the definition or the manner in which monogamous relationships are practiced.

Before we could have a sound discussion, we should, perhaps, define Monogamy in terms of practice and constitutes.

For argument sake, lets say someone has been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years, but once cheated during their relationship - does this mean that the culprit doesn't adhere to monogamy?

no, he's still 'practicing'...

Everyone make at least one poor choices at some point - this doesn't mean that the person have forgotten or willingly refrain from practicing his/her philosophy...

Before we could have a sound discussion, define Monogamy in terms of practice?

monogamy means one partner....and no matey/one nighters....

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love lifts us for an hour, but hope springs eternal... “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

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Faraway God Member seize the day! Posts: 22158	Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? Reply #18 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:48pm Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:43pm: Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:09pm: so, if a priest practices abstinence but every 4 yrs has a fling, is the priest abstinent? Can't answer unless you define abstinent... abstinent= not having sex with anyone
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Malvo

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #19 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:03pm

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:47pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:40pm:

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:11pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 7:50pm:

Quote from londonlover on Oct 29^th, 2009, 5:50am:

It is realistic but rear.

Monogamous relationships are realistic and widely practiced. We either get lost in the definition or the manner in which monogamous relationships are practiced.

Before we could have a sound discussion, we should, perhaps, define Monogamy in terms of practice and constitutes.

For argument sake, lets say someone has been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years, but once cheated during their relationship - does this mean that the culprit doesn't adhere to monogamy?

no, he's still 'practicing'...

Everyone make at least one poor choices at some point - this doesn't mean that the person have forgotten or willingly refrain from practicing his/her philosophy...

Before we could have a sound discussion, define Monogamy in terms of practice?

monogamy means one partner....and no matey/one nighters....

Are you saying that a monogamist is someone who only has sex with one person? If sex is the yardstick that ascertains a monogamous relation ship, then it's ok to love more than one partner - having a strong emotional connection to other people. It’s ok to fantasies about sleeping with others; etc…

Quite frankly, sex is the least amongst the elements that assist with the sustenance of a grained relationship. Internal elements are paramount. You have couple that are in-love with each other and have practiced monogamy for years, but since we are humans, sometimes we make poor judgments. The key is to learn during the process. Someone who practiced monogamy for years and only cheated once is still considered a monogamist; in my opinion since the cheating didn't occur ongoingly...These things aren't black and white....One action alone doesn’t define a person…

Like, killing for instance, you have different class and grade of killers, each has distinct criteria.

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Faraway God Member seize the day! Posts: 22158	Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? Reply #20 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:12pm maybe but external acts are the only things we can truly see...so for me, that's the most important thing I can't know the mind of another, even if they 'share' their feelings
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Faraway God Member seize the day! Posts: 22158	Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? Reply #21 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:14pm so, Malvo, if you are with a serious longterm gf, or wife, and she strays, is 'it was only once' an acceptable defense? you put it all in the past? or the clock has to restart?
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Malvo

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #22 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:19pm

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:48pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:43pm:

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:09pm:

so, if a priest practices abstinence but every 4 yrs has a fling, is the priest abstinent?

Can't answer unless you define abstinent...

abstinent= not having sex with anyone

If that is your definition, then you are absolutely correct...

Food for thought: 2 paradigms - the stages of Change

1. Conviction
2. Motivation

1. Precontemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Action
4. Maintenance
5. Relapse

How could you argue that breaking your commitment to abstinence could further strengthen your commitment to abstinence?

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Malvo

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #23 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:27pm

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:14pm:

so, Malvo, if you are with a serious longterm gf, or wife, and she strays, is 'it was only once' an acceptable defense?

you put it all in the past? or the clock has to restart?

When I was younger, I would immediatel apply 'Project Abort Mission.' But as I grew older, I learnt that we make poor choices at times. So long as those poor choices aren't made ongoingly, we could work at it. WE ARE NOT PERFECT...

Here how my thing set, I believe in giving people a chance without any doubt - especially if she is genuine. Once yuh start wid yuh phuckry, then yuh you wi personally get introduced to Lucifer...

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Faraway

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seize the day!

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #24 - Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:27pm

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:27pm:

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:14pm:

so, Malvo, if you are with a serious longterm gf, or wife, and she strays, is 'it was only once' an acceptable defense?

you put it all in the past? or the clock has to restart?

When I was younger, I would immediatel apply 'Project Abort Mission.' But as I grew older, I learnt that we make poor choices at times. So long as those poor choices aren't made ongoingly, we could work at it. WE ARE NOT PERFECT...

Here how my thing set, I believe in giving people a chance without any doubt.

explain....

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love lifts us for an hour, but hope springs eternal... “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

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Malvo

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #25 - Nov 4^th, 2009, 8:14pm

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:27pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:27pm:

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 9:14pm:

so, Malvo, if you are with a serious longterm gf, or wife, and she strays, is 'it was only once' an acceptable defense?

you put it all in the past? or the clock has to restart?

When I was younger, I would immediatel apply 'Project Abort Mission.' But as I grew older, I learnt that we make poor choices at times. So long as those poor choices aren't made ongoingly, we could work at it. WE ARE NOT PERFECT...

Here how my thing set, I believe in giving people a chance without any doubt.

explain....

Having an uncontaminated view of the person and no second thoughts. For instance, if your SO hurt you and you decide to proceed with the relationship, you must forgive each other for the relationship to prosper...You have some people who argue that they forgave their SO for whatever; yet still, dem carry feelings (guilt, shame, disappointment), motives, and hidden agendas. To say that I'm giving you a chance without a doubt, I'm riding away all bias feelings, grudges and hidden motives - given you a clean slate.

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Imanton God Member I Love YaBB 2! Posts: 3354	Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? Reply #26 - Nov 5^th, 2009, 1:52pm Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:09pm: so, if a priest practices abstinence but every 4 yrs has a fling, is the priest abstinent? Only if he is flinging a Nun?
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squattaz God Member Posts: 26775 Gender:	Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic? Reply #27 - Nov 5^th, 2009, 1:55pm Quote from Imanton on Nov 5^th, 2009, 1:52pm: Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:09pm: so, if a priest practices abstinence but every 4 yrs has a fling, is the priest abstinent? Only if he is flinging a Nun? how did i miss that gem dwrcl!!!!!!
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squattaz

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Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #28 - Nov 5^th, 2009, 2:00pm

Quote from Faraway on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 8:11pm:

Quote from Malvo on Nov 3^rd, 2009, 7:50pm:

Quote from londonlover on Oct 29^th, 2009, 5:50am:

It is realistic but rear.

Monogamous relationships are realistic and widely practiced. We either get lost in the definition or the manner in which monogamous relationships are practiced.

Before we could have a sound discussion, we should, perhaps, define Monogamy in terms of practice and constitutes.

For argument sake, lets say someone has been in a monogamous relationship for 3 years, but once cheated during their relationship - does this mean that the culprit doesn't adhere to monogamy?

no, he's still 'practicing'...

butting in but, no one takes a 'vow' to monogamy, unless its a western marriage. so u cant compare that to an oath or vow of abstinence... can u? at least i dont think u can... doesnt seem even handed, apples vs oranges.

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where is friday?........... You can't go wrong wid chicken.
http://jamaicangroupiemet.blogspot.com/
http://caribbeanpolitical.blogspot.com/

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Faraway

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seize the day!

Posts: 22158

Re: Mate debate: Is monogamy realistic?
Reply #29 - Nov 5^th, 2009, 8:18pm

Quote from squattaz on Nov 5^th, 2009, 2:00pm:

butting in but, no one takes a 'vow' to monogamy, unless its a western marriage. so u cant compare that to an oath or vow of abstinence... can u? at least i dont think u can... doesnt seem even handed, apples vs oranges.

yeah, sometimes you do, if you have a conversation and indicate to each other that this is an exclusive situation....and those conversations DO happen...

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love lifts us for an hour, but hope springs eternal... “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

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