It is really love that you are feeling?


August 30, 2016

Today I want to help you to differentiate between love and infatuation. When we say we love, are we really sure we are not just caught in the heat of infatuation?

I long ago learnt that infatuation is derived from the French word 'fautus' meaning 'foolish', and this clearly means that if it's not true love, it is foolishness. I dare say we need to examine love on a deeper level; before saying that we love or are in love, we must also understand that there are different dimensions to this thing called love.

To many, it may be goosebumps on the arms or butterflies in the stomach, and to others, sleepless nights and too much salt in the meal. LOL.

I once sought the Oxford Dictionary to assist me with a definition, and it took five pages to define this phenomenon. My best definition, however, came from the Good Book itself in St John 3:16 'For God so loved the world that He gave ...", now if that isn't love, then the ocean is really dry.

So we can deduct from this passage that Love gives and gives sacrificially. The Greek word love has four definitions which teach how it is to be expressed and the context in which it ought to be expressed. For example, 'Philio love' is friendship love. This kind of love can be expressed in a platonic relationship and does not necessarily have any sense of long-term commitment, on the other hand, the other Greek words 'Eros' and 'Storge' speaks to passionate and erotic love being expressed between a lovers or within a marriage relationship.


The fourth Greek word, which supersedes all the aforementioned, is the 'Agape love'. This mirrors the love that the Bible speaks to and is hardly found to be practiced in us humans. It is unconditional and sacrificial in its embodiment. It always seeks to give expecting nothing in return. It is what we call unconditional love.

How many of us can truly say we love unconditionally, that we love someone sacrificially to the detriment of our beautiful and handsome selves? Not many. However, passionate erotic expressions can be had in moments of ecstasy, where no loving commitment exists.

If I love you according to the Bible, I will be only too willing to give you everything and make sacrifices for you. Can infatuation do that? Can it hold up under that kind of strain? I think not. When we are infatuated, we are simply lusting, desiring what does not belong to us, and wanting it at all costs without thinking of the repercussions.

This feeling of love is too ephemeral, too shallow - no depth. This is merely a fluctuating emotion which is hot one moment and cold the next, leaving in its wake broken hearts, unrequited love, and a sense of shame, especially for the female lover.

If we must love, then be aware that love is not blind, it is not superficial, it seeks not for itself, but only for the other. If we have to love, note that it takes time to cultivate lasting love that will withstand the test of time.

It may start out being stolen hugs and kisses, but it will evolve with time and mature into deep and profound, long and lasting love that honours God and respects and cherishes the one being loved.

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